Probably not, says Dr. Farley. “Many men dream of breaking out of their everyday roles and becoming super-risk-taking heroes overnight, but it doesn’t happen very often,” he says. “you change by taking small steps into the unknown.”
He suggests starting with minor changes. Identify some of your long-held fears and begin pushing them. If you’re a creature of habit who always eats at the same restaurants, make it a point to try some new ones. Instead of going on your usual vacation, ask your travel agent about adventure packages, Add variety to your sex life by experimenting with new places and positions. If you can’t face a fear head on, try taking risks in another part of your life. “I’ve always wanted to be a stand-up comic, but I could never get up the nerve,” admits Keyes. “Instead I went rock climbing and risked my neck. It was scary, but I was less frightened of that than of getting booed off a stage.”
Given the lack of objective standards, how do you decide if a risk is worth taking? Ask yourself what you have to gain if you’re successful and what you have to lose if you’re not. Dabbling in the stock market is an acceptable risk if you have a few spare dollars; learning to drive a race car with a certified instructor is more likely to thrill you than kill you. On the other hand, going for a spin in your Delta 88 when you’ve got a bellyful of wine is just dangerous and stupid. (Dr. Farley calls drinking and driving and other purely reckliss behaviors T-negative.)
What if you take a risk and fail? Big deal. According to Keyes, the biggest losers are those who never took risks in the first place. He tells of a sky diver who spent a year in the hospitalafter falling 2,000 feet when his chute failed to open. “Sure, he regretted the accident, but he didn’t regret skydiving, and he was ready to go u again.” Likewise, people who start businesses that fail, audition for parts tey don’t get or become deeply involved in relationships that don’t pan out are usually proud of themselves for making the effort. “There’s a sense of satisfaction in taking a risk-win or lose-that can’t be found any other way,” Keyes says. “People who choose not to take important risks often have deep regrets, almost to the point of mourning.”
